I think my subconscious is getting smarter.

When I’m working, the way I gauge whether or not I’m good at a task, is if I can do it while daydreaming. I’ll sit down, stare at the screen, start daydreaming about metal spiders or something, and expect my body to get busy doing my job. Sometimes part of my mind will have to join in too. And my voice. But my thoughts keep whiling away the time, pondering over an unrelated set of ideas in my head.

Because of this, my subconscious must be learning things. Like how to use Excel. The other night I had a dream in which I worked out how to do something for work which I had promised I would do, but had given no waking thought as to how yet. And when I woke I realised how genius an idea it was.

Now that’s not right is it. I mean it’s pretty fucking messed up really isn’t it? How can my mind work out how to better use a spreadsheet when it’s asleep? It just doesn’t make any fucking sense!

And how about this: the other night I had a dream which James Earl Jones narrated, and he used the phrase, “And although others might not have understood, for these four, things were quite as they should” which may not quite make sense, but as a poetic turn in a dream, I think it’s quite impressive. It’s like a dream I had long ago in which I was robbing someone’s flat and then planning on blowing it up, and the whole thing had Miss Dynamite-tee-hee (the song by the lady of the same name) as the soundtrack but with comedy words my subconscious brain had made up.

And for the clincher, something my subconscious did while I was awake; the other day I was in a shop and after having spent too long choosing my products, then spending too long deciding how to pay, and then too long packing, I decided for some reason to buy a scratch card. The second scratch card I have ever bought (I got my first on my 16th birthday), and the second and last scratch card I ever intend to buy (as I don’t like gambling much, but I like to try everything twice). And it won! £6. When I bought it, I was all like “I been intending on doing that for ages”, but in reality, it was something that just occurred to me. And as it was at such an awkward stage in my shopping experience (after all my time wasting, the guy behind the counter entirely ignored me for a good few minutes before acknowledging my desire to buy something else) that it seems strange that I would bother to go through the minor social embarrassment to get this thing that I didn’t even really want.

But it won. And I only bought it coz the part of my brain which I don’t control is a friggin’ genius.