A Retraction

So most of you must have heard by now that my trip to Yankyville wasn’t nearly as depressing as it should have been. Turns out a social worker bitch is either incompetent or just mean and wanted my Dad turned off as he is a ‘drain on the community’. To be fair if you had met my dad you would know that is praise compared to what most people think of him, but still it wasn’t an opinion that his doctors shared so we didn’t have to switch him off. Phew.

While I’m retracting things, I got some post from the tax office telling me that I wouldn’t have to fill out a return next year. Thank fuck for that.

So in other news it was Christmas yesterday and my mega generous brother got me a 360! Woo motherfucking hoo!

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope all is well.

PS It occurred to me the other night that with all the physical activity that Wii users will go through, we might be about to enter a new rebalanced era of super strong nerds. Something to think about during the holiday season.

My 100th post is about ... you

When I was growing up, I didn’t really have a family, not like other people anyway. I don’t mean I was an orphan or any really tragic shit like that, I just mean… I was alone. An alcoholic father coupled with an over bearing mother and an older brother who was getting more fucked up by our situation that I was, but who was still trying to keep me in line was my lot. TV was my parents. It taught me love and life and right and wrong. But it never said my name, and it rarely listened.

So when I was 16 and I realised that this group of misfits I had been seeing a lot of actually meant something to me, it was a freaky fucking hallelujah moment. I mean, maybe you guys pick on me a little, because I seem like a victim. Maybe you laugh at me when you should be laughing with me, because you don’t get that I use myself as a joke. Maybe you don’t listen to me because you think I’m being ridiculous. Maybe you dismiss me because you don’t believe in me.

But when you see me you seem glad
And you give me a hug or shake my hand.
You buy me a beer or two when I’m broke.
You laugh even when you don’t get the joke.
You love the people I love, if I ask you to.
You smile at me, when I’m smiling at you.
You want me to get better when I’m sick.
You don’t stop talking to me when I’m being a prick.
You put my trousers over my shoes when I can’t move.
You aren’t freaked out when I tell you too much truth.
You listen to me even when I’m being boring.
You find me tea and aspirin when I’m hungover in the morning.
You call me even though I don’t call you.
You don’t abandon me when you meet someone new.
You don’t look away when you see me cry.
You’ll be at my funeral when I die.

That wasn’t supposed to rhyme, but you guys put poetry in my heart. Thanks.