A New Hope

So I was born in 1982 right. Lots of exciting things probably happened that year, but my birth was the most important thing that happened in my life, so I’ll ignore all the rest. But anyway, my point was that 1982 is 18 years before the millennium, so it was destined right from the start that all people born in the same year as me would have a pivotal 18th year. Because it was the millennium. The big 2000. Something was bound to happen. Right? Wrong. Apart from a fucking great party I can’t really remember that year at all anymore. Pivotal?! We were ripped off.

Just like with Star Wars Episode 1. It was a crock of shit, let’s face it, with little to no interest to anyone except for children who wanted to play the racing game that I assume closely followed it’s release. Then Episode 2 came out and it still wasn’t amazing. I mean, I thought it was amazing as I was thoroughly less than sober when I went to see it and when Yoda does all his flipping about and shit I was motherfucking awe struck. But as I wasn’t seeing straight at the time, the pretty flashing lights were probably more than enough to please me. In retrospect however, it still wasn’t nearly as awesome as perhaps it could have been. So now number 3 is on the way, and I have to wonder if it’s going to be nearly as motherfucking amazing as it has the potential to be.

I mean, when I was young Star Wars was already everywhere. Everyone had at least one of the toys. Well I didn’t, but that’s because after my parents had seen the sad state my slinky was in it seemed foolish to buy me anymore. But everywhere you went there were Star Wars things. I grew up on the computer games. Not that most of them were any good, but it was a nice genre, an interesting story and lets be honest, a catchy name. Well I would have called it Space Bitches, but Star Wars is alright. So now, after our whole lives waiting, finally the last piece of the puzzle is about to come out. And it could possibly be the pivotal moment of my generations lives. Not that it will be. It’s probably going to suck ass like the rest, but it has the potential. It could be great. IT COULD BE MOTHERFUCKING THE BEST PIECE OF CRAP YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE.

Maybe I shouldn’t have such high hopes, but fuck it, what other inevitable event can I get so excited about? The 2nd of May 2006? I’ve based all my hopes for this year on this film. If it turns out well then it’s going to be a good year. If not, then I’m just going to give up and stay in my room til New Years. I’m terrified. I’m excited.

Actually, I don’t even really care that much, but I have a lot of time on my hands, and someone once referred to me as being the light side of the force, so I felt I should say something about it.