Moo

So cows life’s aren’t fulfilling. So what? Cows are like big pods for processing grass and spawning more. They’re like single cell organisms but they’re motherfucking massive. They don’t really need to have fulfilling lives because if they did, what would they do with it? Stand and eat grass? I mean don’t put them in little cages or anything, but to think giving them any sort of stimulant to make their lives better would be purely a waste. They do create magic mushrooms in an odd sort of way, but I don’t think cows eat their own shit. Do they? How the fuck would I know.

I’m a member of Green Peace so I think my opinion counts. Well I think I’m still a member. I haven’t paid the subscription fee in a long time, but they kept sending me shit for ages, so who knows. I didn’t mean to stop paying, but I had to change bank accounts to open a student account and when I closed it, the standing order didn’t go across. Stupid fucking banks.

My banks (for I try to never close an account, but seem to have opened many over the years for many different odd fucking reasons) always fuck me over. You know when they do that thing that they fine you because you’re overdrawn, but you’re only overdrawn because they fined you or some shit? Happens to me all the motherfucking time. And you can’t complain, because you always have to call somewhere else and you don’t want to swear at the lady down the phone when her colleague standing in front of you has been so helpful. Goddamnit. I don’t even care about money in the first place, so stop making it so difficult to manage. I wonder who i could say that to, to magically sort things out.

So I only ever joined Green Peace in the first place because we were in London in some swanky jeans place or other and I was buying anything so I went outside to have a cigarette. It was fucking pouring it down so I went round the corner and stood in an alley and there was this guy standing in the street asking people to sign up for green peace. Only there were no people because it was fucking pissing it down, and he was just wearing a regular coat. So I felt sorry for him and went and signed up. I didn’t realise it was Green Peace until he told me, but I feel it was a good decision. Turned out it was his first day, and I was his first ever sign up. It feels good to give something back to the world.

What was I talking about? Cows? I can’t fucking remember why now. Oh yeah, the girl with the greatest fighting name ever is going to Mexico. Oh wait, I didn’t mean it like that. Oh well, whatever, Nevermind.