(i) Maria

The sun ablaze as Maria's foot touches the surface of sand, thinking of the world and all that’s underhand she stepped out of the truck and looked to the sky and the future. A silver bird flew in and landed crushing the ground beneath it and stumbling to a halt. She hated fucking Mexico as all it had ever given her was tequila and trouble, both of which seemed to lead to each other whenever one appeared. She was going to stop fucking up her life and others and just leave, for once taking the high road instead of just being high on the road. It had taken her months of robbing people and pimping out her own ass to save up the plane fare, but it was finally worth it. She was going to England. Not that she was that excited about it at first, but English tourists always seems pretty rich, so it would be nice to live in a land of plenty, at least for a while.

“There must be abundant fields as far as the eye can see”, she thought, “and human rights and equality. Well fuck all that, as long as I can still find a gun, everything will be alright. If fact, why don’t I just take this one with me? Seems like a plan”.

With that she ran towards the plane shot off the lock on the door and tried frantically to board. Wasn’t gonna happen though really as planes are quite far off the ground. Even when the pilot came to the door to see what was going on it didn’t help.

“You stupid fucking bitch, we can’t fly if we can’t lock this door. I mean it would be nice to have a breeze blowing in this little flying oven, but more passengers than usual would probably die”.

Maria didn’t like this uniformed prick talking shit to her, so she blasted his ass. He fell on the floor square in front of her, and like the little thieving monkey face she really was she started rifling through his pockets immediately for the keys to the plane. All she found was his passport, some bubble gum, and a photo of one fucked up looking bird. While she was gazing at the scar faced ho that was somehow related to the pilot, the polizia rocked up and pinned her ass to the ground.

“Trying to enter the country illegally were you? We’ll send you back to your punk ass country”. Officer Mancuso wasn’t very bright. He saw her holding a British passport and assumed she was an illegal immigrant, despite the pretty little Mexican chick in his custody looking more Mexican than Speedy Gonzalez. Still, he’d teach her a lesson. He liked that pilot. Well he didn’t know that pilot, but he’d seen in him a dress once, and he always meant to ask him about it, and now he would never have the chance.