verydodgy.com blog!

This kid doesn't look too happy.....

James White — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 13:03:00 +0000

How to annoy people!

James White — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 21:21:00 +0000

Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Staple pages in the middle of the page.

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

Honk and wave to strangers.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

type only in lowercase.

dont use any punctuation either

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

Ask people what gender they are.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

George Bush singing "Sunday Bloody Sunday"

James White — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 12:38:47 +0000

Where's the any key?

James White — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 22:38:00 +0000

http://www29.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859

Ducks! Noooooo!

James White — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 10:38:00 +0000

Pandomax. Free music!

James White — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 09:34:00 +0000

Ever sit around wondering what music to listen to? Do you want to listen to some new music but don't know where to start?

You need Pandora Internet Radio! It asks you for all your favourite bands and then plays a selection of tunes that include your artists and also artists that it thinks you'll like. Its based on the music genome project.

Thats not all though! With the pandomax plugin you can save each song out as an mp3 with full id3 tags and album info.

Check it out here: http://www.pandomax.com/

How unlucky was this?!

James White — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 21:31:00 +0000

I went out with my friend Emma the other night to go down to Riley's in Clapham for a bit of pool or snooker.
Jimmy White is visiting there in a few weeks and she signed me up for a competition to play against him. Apart from it being potentially highly embarrassing due to our names being the same, I am absolutely dreadful at snooker. Oh well, anyway, on the left is the most crazy shot that I've ever made. I'm sure the balls aren't supposed to wedge in the pocket like that! :)

Look at this nutter's house

James White — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 09:07:00 +0000

He must have a lot of time and money! :

http://www.nescapades.com/gameroom.htm

What is inside a doner kebab?

James White — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 14:07:00 +0000

This is a question I've always wondered about, until I found this newspaper clipping. Sorry for the poor quality :)

Engrish

James White — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 10:49:00 +0000

I have to read a lot of technical manuals that have been translated from Chinese. Some are very good, but some are hilarious. I was at a friends house the other day and she lived in China for a while and owns a number of Chinese CDs. These were my favourites :) :

(All I have to do is cream, Don McLean)

World Cup fun

James White — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 09:40:00 +0000

Police in Berlin have arrested two men suspected of planting nine footballs filled with concrete across the city, each with a message in English challenging passers-by: "Can u kick it?" Three people gave it their best shot and immediately wished they hadn't bothered.

Isle of Wight Festival!

James White — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 10:48:00 +0000

Last night I got back from the Isle of Wight Festival. I had a great weekend!
Highlights included Chris Martin's crouch song, the amazing light and laser shows that accompanied the Foo Fighters and Coldplay andmeeting a load of great people including camping with the Girls in Green Shoes.

The weather was amazing, I can't remember a better weekend of weather here. I have the slight redness to prove it :)

Bring on next year! Check out our photos here.

I should hope so too!

James White — Tue, 06 Jun 2006 09:31:00 +0000

I see this sign everyday at London Bridge station.

If my train driver was disturbed I'd be very worried indeed!

Matches

James White — Mon, 29 May 2006 16:22:00 +0000

What a funny picture :)

Someone at the match firm must have a sense of humour.

Whats wrong with this picture?

James White — Thu, 18 May 2006 12:32:00 +0000

First of all, well done to the Gunners last night. Of course I'm disappointed we didn't win, but you need a bit of luck and I think Barcelona had it on their side. We played our hearts out and thats all any fan could ask.

Anyway, on my way home I took this at clapham junction, sorry for the bad quality but it made me laugh, can you see why? :)