1. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.


2. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.


3. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."


4. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."


5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.


6. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.


7. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."


8. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."


9. Practice making fax and modem noises.


10. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.


11. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.


12. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."


13. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.


14. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.


15. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.


16. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."


17. Staple pages in the middle of the page.


18. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.


19. Honk and wave to strangers.


20. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.


21. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.


22. type only in lowercase.


23. dont use any punctuation either


24. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.


25. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."


26. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.


27. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.


28. Ask people what gender they are.


29. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.


30. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.


31. Sing along at the opera.


32. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.


33. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

http://www29.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859

Ever sit around wondering what music to listen to? Do you want to listen to some new music but don't know where to start?

You need Pandora Internet Radio! It asks you for all your favourite bands and then plays a selection of tunes that include your artists and also artists that it thinks you'll like. Its based on the music genome project.

Thats not all though! With the pandomax plugin you can save each song out as an mp3 with full id3 tags and album info.

Check it out here: http://www.pandomax.com/

I went out with my friend Emma the other night to go down to Riley's in Clapham for a bit of pool or snooker.
Jimmy White is visiting there in a few weeks and she signed me up for a competition to play against him. Apart from it being potentially highly embarrassing due to our names being the same, I am absolutely dreadful at snooker. Oh well, anyway, on the left is the most crazy shot that I've ever made. I'm sure the balls aren't supposed to wedge in the pocket like that! :)

He must have a lot of time and money! :

http://www.nescapades.com/gameroom.htm

I have to read a lot of technical manuals that have been translated from Chinese. Some are very good, but some are hilarious. I was at a friends house the other day and she lived in China for a while and owns a number of Chinese CDs. These were my favourites :) :

Police in Berlin have arrested two men suspected of planting nine footballs filled with concrete across the city, each with a message in English challenging passers-by: "Can u kick it?" Three people gave it their best shot and immediately wished they hadn't bothered.

Last night I got back from the Isle of Wight Festival. I had a great weekend!
Highlights included Chris Martin's crouch song, the amazing light and laser shows that accompanied the Foo Fighters and Coldplay andmeeting a load of great people including camping with the Girls in Green Shoes.

The weather was amazing, I can't remember a better weekend of weather here. I have the slight redness to prove it :)

Bring on next year! Check out our photos here.

I see this sign everyday at London Bridge station.







If my train driver was disturbed I'd be very worried indeed!

What a funny picture :)






Someone at the match firm must have a sense of humour.

First of all, well done to the Gunners last night. Of course I'm disappointed we didn't win, but you need a bit of luck and I think Barcelona had it on their side. We played our hearts out and thats all any fan could ask.

Anyway, on my way home I took this at clapham junction, sorry for the bad quality but it made me laugh, can you see why? :)

....hello ashburton grove! I loved highbury, it was one of the only stadiums in the Premiership that most of the seats were very close to the pitch. However, it was impossible to get tickets for league games so hopefully i'll be able to go a lot more next season starting with Dennis Bergkamp's Testimonial on 22nd July!

Came across this the other day.

One day, i might even go back..........
to the old school.

:)

Saturday was the first BBQ of the year, woo hoo!
The food was pretty good and we had a right laugh.

Unfortunately I left before this happened:

Justin drinks a raw egg

What a nutter!

Roll on more BBQ's and hot weather!

I got this this morning. Its survived at least 5 crashes and i've got it to 20ft so far! (too scared to go higher). Its great fun, can't wait for lunchtime. Hopefully it'll survive the rest of the day :)

If you want one (they have now gone back to £30) check out here.

I've just finished building my PC and am very very pleased. I picked up a cheap refurb Dell 5150 from ebay and chucked in another 3 hard disks (4 in total with a bit of hacking and power splitting) and a dual DVB-T (digital TV) tuner PCI-E card. All running Windows Media Center 2005.

It rocks!

I love this new BTX motherboard format. The PC (even with the 4 drives) is almost inaudible!

Here's the spec for all you geeks:

Pentium 4 HT 630 3.0Ghz (2MB Cache)

160GB SATA drive
plus 2x250GB and 300GB Maxtor hard disks
(960GB in total!)

Terratec Cinergy 2400i dual DVB-T digital TV tuner PCI-Express card

ATI X600 256MB

NEC DVD-RW

IDE RAID card

Soundblaster Audigy 2 Platinum Pro with breakout (sounds great with my guitar)

Windows Media Center 2005 OS with IR sensor and remote

Standards are obviously slipping in schools. Maybe the Evening Standard should go back there and do a story on this! :)
I saw this glaring error on more than one of these boards which leads me to believe that they are printed beforehand. How many people missed this error?!

Here's a pic of sonic running on my mega drive emulator on my psp:


And he's a pic of the hotly awaited Winning Eleven 9 otherwise known as Pro Evo 5:


Yes, I know its a bit sad, but I must say that this is my favourite ever gadget!

Check microsoft's new guide to 1337 sp34k!

http://www.microsoft.com/athome/security/children/kidtalk.mspx